Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Rag Sex

Sex on the rag - everyone has considered it at one time or another. You're with a girl, really horny, making out with her, and doing some heavy fondling only to find out that she has a tampon shoved up her snatch, blocking your penis's way of entry. It's quite the situation to be in. Most men give up trying to have sex with the girl for that night and settle for a hand job instead. Even though she's leaking a bloody unused potential child out of her cooter, is it still worth trying to go the extra mile to nail her? Fisty and Cocoa decide whether rag sex is just plain wrong or worth every blood-soaked tampon-filled second.

Fisty Fillmore's Take:
Nothing is worse than the infamous murder scene. When I have sex, I like to leave as little stainage as possible. Sure, with sex you'll have a little bit of white vagina juice staining your bed sheets or the bottom of your shirt if you didn't take it off, but that washes out easily. Blood, though, doesn't come out. That's a real stain. If you ever fucked a girl on the rag in your car, not only should you get slapped, but you should get a steam cleaner. That will stink up your car and it will leave a lasting reminder of the time you nailed that skanky chick with a bloody cooter, you sick, sick bastard.

The period isn't just blood...I don't know what the fuck it is, but it's not just blood. The more I think about it, the more I want to puke. You know how your nose is a few hours after a nose bleed? You've got some blood still up there, scabs and bloody boogers. That's pretty much what'll be on your dick if you fuck a girl on the rag. Not to mention that most of the blood-paste will be on your balls and the base of your penis. The condom will just be a little rust-stained, but your balls will receive the worst of it. After all your balls have done for you, this is the thanks they get?

The "good" thing about girls on the rag is that they are always willing to tell you when they're bleeding. They try to act like they're embarrassed about it and not directly say it, but they want you to know. You asked them what they've been up to, they'll say right off the bat "went to the store to get some woman supplies", meaning tampons, or else they'll say that they've had such a bad day and mention something about how Aunt Flow is visiting or some other disgusting euphemisms that dumb chicks think are cute. As dumb and annoying as this is, at least you know you won't be surprised. How bad would it be if you got a chick naked then as you went to bang her, you were just bashing your tip against a tampon? So at least they tell you that they're on the rag, and if you were planning on nailing her that night, you better reschedule for a few days later. If she wants you to nail her while she's bleeding, make up some kind of excuse like that you are working late that day, aliens are invading, or you have sex with a girl unless she takes you out to a fancy dinner first.

When I have sex and there's blood, it better be because she's a virgin. I nailed this chick once and she bled all over the University of Michigan's bathroom floor. I would've been very angry at her for getting blood all over my junk had it not been blood caused by my rockin' penis breaking her hymen. It looked like a slaughter house in there, almost like I stepped onto the set of a slasher film. After we finished, she ran into the stall to clean herself and I was left with the mess on the floor. The only time I'll clean up any blood after sex is after a deflowering. And I didn't even really clean that up, just threw a couple paper towels on the floor and called it good.

Glen Cocoa's Take:
Really? There's nothing wrong with sex on the rag. If you don't want to do it when the chick's cranked up to full flow, then that's just fine. But if the girl's at the end of her period and she's not geysering blood out of there, a few streaks aren't gonna hurt your penis. In fact, just think of them as racing stripes. Maybe it'll mentally help you bang her faster...makes your dick look streamlined and cool, like a Weinermobile painted up for a drag race in the 50s.

And you don't have to cover your bed in drop cloths like you're about to perform a dismemberment. A set of red sheets or a red towel, no matter how moronic and overused it sounds, will actually work great. If she's only a little spotty, you can bang however you want and just make sure that when you pull out, your dick's near the towel. The heavier the flow is, the more careful you have to be that you stay above the towel, and the more limited you are in the moves that you can do. You're not gonna want her to be on top when she's in the middle of her period - the blood will start to flow over your balls and follow your taint all the way to your asshole, like when you're trying to pour some Kool-Aid from a pitcher and it just runs down the side instead. But when she's toward the end of her rag, and it's just getting slow and more brownish, feel free to toss her all around. Of course, don't bang her near your pillow in case you have a streak that decides to rub off on something. Just be mindful of what you've got painted on your shaft, and you're good to go.

The shower is always a good place to do some bloody bonin'. As long as you're fine with seeing a few murder smears against the wall, you should have no problem. This is good for any verocity of flow, even heavy. With a heavy flow, when you're banging in the bedroom, the girl will have to pull her tampon out in the bathroom then run to the bedroom quickly and hope that no blood starts to drip out by the time she gets there. And once she's there, you have the whole towel/sheet situation mentioned above to worry about. When humping that blood shooter in the shower, she can flush her tampon and jump in the shower before you even get in there. And, according to a lot of girls, they actually stop bleeding as much once they get in the shower. And just think, even if she's not on the pill, you shouldn't have any worries when raw dogging her, since all that precum just gets mixed in with the blood and shooed right out with the rest of it.

Boning a girl on the rag is awesome because you don't have to worry about hurting her. When she has cramps that feel like her liver and pancreas are having a fistfight, with her ovaries caught in the middle, she sure as hell isn't going to bitch about you pulling her hair too hard. And you know that sweet move that you do when you're pissed off at her, where you put her one leg up and shove your dick all the way as hard as you can, and she yells when your tip hits whatever the fuck's in there? You can do that move, and she probably won't notice that pain over the cramps she's having. And if you really want to live in fantasy land, then the bloodier the better; when you stare down at the blood smeared from your belly button down to your thighs and all over her cooter, tell yourself that it was from fucking her so hard that you just tore the fuck out of her. Or, even better, tell yourself that there was a baby in there and you bashed it to shit and that's why she's so bloody. Mind over matter, my good friend.

Fisty's Retort:
Why would you want your balls and shaft covered in coagulated blood? Rag time is a great time to make her give you a blow job. Finally you can watch some TV and have it all be about you. Why would you even want to think about pleasing her while she's on her period? What's wrong with you? Girls get pleasure from sex and it relieves period cramps when she does the dirty deed; why would you want to relieve her pain? You're suffering because you have to put up with her bitchiness and bloody vagina for the past few days, it's time she pleases you.

Fucking in the shower just doesn't work, whether you're humping a bleeding vagina or not. I don't know about you, but fucking standing up is incredibly awkward. I get bow-legged and shit. It just doesn't work out too well, eventually I'll get tired and will want to sit down. Not only that, but the blood running down both of our legs and hanging out around the drain is enough to sink my boner into the ground. And that's if she has a good shower. If it's at the girl's place, the drain will be clogged. The girl's long hair will have clogged up that drain, so after a few minutes of shower sex you'll have a nice little pool of bloody water around your feet. Yeah, that sure sounds arousing.

Cocoa's Retort:
Rag sex is some of the best you can have. Girls are horny as fuck when they're on the rag. When the blood starts gushing, their hormones start flowing. Girls are always horniest right before their period starts and into the first day or two. They may feel like they're being fisted because their cramps hurt so badly, but at the same time, they're super horny. And since most of their exes were pansies and refused to bang her while she was on the rag, she's never known the joys of it. Think about it - she's already super horny, then you add to it your awesome work on her, kissing her neck, biting her shoulder, etc...and before you know it, she'll be squirting blood in her most worked-up orgasm ever.

And it's bad enough that you have to deal with the girl being on the rag anyway. She's going to be moody and complain about her cramps all the time. You can't just randomly finger her when she's making dinner like you usually do, and your bathroom is going to have that weird smell it always does when a girl on the rag is around. So are you going to let her period get in the way of you getting laid too? Fuck no. The other things, you don't really have any control over. But if you let some blood get in the way of you getting laid, then sir, you just aren't a real man.

Fun Reading:
Another debate about rag sex!
An important question about rag sex
An awesome drink recipe

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